Ger Ve-toshav: Strangers, Citizens, and the Search for Belonging
Yoni Rosenzweig on Parshas Chayei Sara
Reading Jewish History in the Parsha segment is entering a new chapter. With Rabbi David Bashevkin wrapping up his year-long parsha and Jewish history reflections, we’re excited to share that this series will now feature past 18Forty guests as guest writers. Each week, they’ll bring their unique insights on how Jewish history connects with the weekly Torah portion.
This week, we’re excited to welcome Rabbi Yoni Rosenzweig who joined us on the 18Forty podcast for our dive into the topic of mental health. Rabbi Rosensweig is the rabbi of the Netzah Menashe community in Beit Shemesh, Israel. Previously, he served as Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Shevut Yisrael in Efrat. Rabbi Rosensweig is the author of several books including the recent Nafshi Beshe’elati on Jewish law and mental health.
In our Parsha, Avraham buys the Machpela cave as a burial site for Sarah. It is well understood why Avraham needed to do this: Burial, in those days, was a significant part of showing ownership of a land and belonging to it. Burial caves were a sign of long-standing citizenry in a certain area. While Avraham is relatively new to Canaan, he is commanded by Hashem to settle down and make this land his home. He therefore needs to find and buy a permanent place of burial, not only for Sarah but for his entire family. He does not settle for Ephron’s original offer to simply bury Sarah in Ephron’s burial cave. Rather, he insists on buying and owning his own burial cave to solidify his standing in this land where he first came as a stranger.
But it is instructive to view this story in its broader context. The buying of the Machpela cave is not an isolated incident. It is a modus operandi as far as Avraham goes. To understand this, let us consider the marked differences between Yaakov’s arrival in Israel (following a 20-year absence in Lavan’s house) and Avraham’s arrival. Avraham insists on partnering with the local population, almost at every turn. The members of his household are frequently alluded to and they seem to be people who have joined him at various points in time (unlike those of Yitzchak or Yaakov who are never discussed). He becomes involved in nearby wars that impact him or his family. He creates a pact with Avimelech. The Torah tells us of an alliance he had with Aner, Eshkol, and Mamreh. The places where he sets up camp are all populated areas that were well known, and it is there where he bravely builds his altars and calls Hashem’s name.
Yaakov seems to be the complete opposite. He does his best to avoid interacting with the local population, such as the people of Shechem. He would rather live outside the city than among its people. Even with Lavan, Yaakov set up a separate household and ran a separate herd. He declines Esav’s offer to ride together and benefit from each other. Perhaps the most telling thing about Yaakov is the fact that rather than go to well-known places, he gives names to all the places he has been: Beit El, Machanayim, Alon Bachut, etc. While Avraham is busy ensuring the future of his family by latching onto the existing structures, Yaakov is busy making history by distancing himself from them.
We can now see that the episode of buying the Machpela cave is not a standalone episode, but rather part of Avraham’s entire philosophy. Avraham works within the system, not outside of it. If he needs something, he will look to see what forces and opportunities already exist on a local level and seek to utilize those to his advantage.
The differences between Avraham and Yaakov surely stem from two different historical moments. Avraham was coming to a new land, a foreign land, driven there by a commandment from Hashem. He was asked to start from scratch and was given the difficult task of living a double life, as Avraham puts it in our parsha: “Ger Ve-toshav Anochi”. Avraham is both citizen and stranger. As mentioned, he is not afraid to build his own altar and call out Hashem’s name wherever he goes. He does not hide his faith. He does not change his spots to please the natives. But he also understands that he must play a complicated game to survive in this new land. He summons every last ounce of shrewdness to navigate this complex terrain.
If I were to look at this from a psychological standpoint, I would say simply this: Avraham does not feel like he belongs but that to fulfill Hashem’s command, he must find a way to remedy this. Not for himself necessarily, but for his children going forward. Many olim (people who immigrate to Israel) can surely testify to this. When one comes on aliya, one might feel like they don’t quite fit in. The language is different, the mentality is different, and the norms and culture take time to get used to. And some people never fully feel part of Israeli culture. But often, even if the olim themselves don’t fully integrate into Israeli society, their children certainly do. If the parents set out to incorporate themselves into the land they moved to, even if the results of those efforts are suboptimal as far as the parents go, for the kids it turns out to be a resounding success.
There is very little doubt in my mind that what we see with Yaakov is exactly that. When Yaakov returns to Canaan, he is not an “oleh”. He is returning to his homeland, where he grew up and spent his childhood and much of his adult life. Let us not forget that Esav was at least 40 at the time of the stealing of the blessings, so Yaakov too was at least of that age when he left for Lavan’s home. Yaakov knows this land, he is not afraid of it, and it is not foreign to him. And he treats it that way: his actions will now be the basis for calling places by a certain name. He doesn’t need to connect to existing lore. He creates his own.
4000 years later, both models still serve us well. The dilemma between patching into existing frameworks and utilizing what they have created and built and forging a new path that can enlighten and illuminate that which has never been previously seen is one that we all deal with at different points in our lives. Needless to say, the decision is forever in the eyes of the beholder, and we pray to Hashem to give us the wisdom to move forward on the path that is best for us.